The Key to Conquering Your Invisible To-Do List and Feeling More Accomplished

Have you ever ended your day to find that only a couple of things got checked off of your to-do list–yet you know you ran around like a mad woman all day?

Where did the day go? With all that you’ve done, how can your to-do list still be so full?

Let me introduce you to your invisible to-do list. It’s the list of things you do that never make it onto a to-do list–things like showering and getting ready, making breakfast, putting together kids’ lunches, walking your dog, and making dinner. While those things never grace your to-do list, they take up a lot of time (even just those activities I mentioned, that’s likely two to three hours of tasks right there).

When our plans don’t account for hours of things we need to do each day, no wonder we’re left scrambling. We fill our days with plans to do the one-off things, like working on that client presentation, picking up a birthday present, or calling our girlfriends. But these visible to-dos collide with our invisible to-dos, vying for our limited time and energy. We’ve overscheduled ourselves without realizing it and unsurprisingly feel defeated when we can’t get it all done.

As a result, we wonder where our days went, feeling defeated by how “little” we got done, and go to bed feeling not so excited about getting up to do it again tomorrow. We rob ourselves of the sense of accomplishment and peace of mind we should feel about how much we did get done.

Let’s change that. Here’s how to uncover and account for your invisible to-do list so you can set more realistic plans and go to bed feeling accomplished about what you got done today and motivated to do it again tomorrow.

Making the invisible, visible

Take a moment to imagine the power and peace you would feel if you started your day and could see in one place every single thing that had to be done today. Not just your appointments, but every single task that needs to get done from the moment you wake up to the moment you go to sleep. Imagine the peace that would come from knowing that those plans are realistic because they account for it all–even the invisible to-dos.

Let’s get you there. Let’s make those invisible to-dos visible.

For today, to test out this approach, pick three things you do most work days that never make it onto your to-do list or into your calendar. These things tend to crop up in the pre-work mornings or post-work evenings. Things like showering and getting ready, walking your dog, or doing bath and bedtime with your kids.

Next, calendar those three activities in your digital calendar. Repeat them each workday based on when you typically do them and how long they take. For example, calendar “walk dog” for 20 minutes at 7 a.m. (and perhaps 6 p.m.).

Before you balk at this, thinking that your life isn’t so routine or that this feels rigid, please know that I want you to be flexible with this. The point is to drop these foundational building blocks of your day into your calendar so you remember to account for them and don’t have to rely on your brain to remember to do them (hello, lighter mental load!). As your days shake out, you can always move these blocks of time around to a time that works best on that day. Flexibility is the name of the game.

In addition, be realistic–not idealistic. If it takes you 45 minutes to shower and get ready, but you wish it were 30, calendar 45 minutes. The goal is to realistically plan your day, not scramble every morning while berating yourself for it taking 45 minutes.

And that’s it! Now, just play it out. Not only will this practice help you reduce your mental load, but it will also help you more accurately plan your day. Instead of filling every waking moment with unrealistic plans to get work projects and one-off personal tasks done, you’ve now accounted for and protected time for the daily foundational things in your life. This helps you to avoid overscheduling and to see what you can realistically get done in a day.

Moreover, when you do this, you empower yourself to see where the bottlenecks are and to make changes (e.g., realizing you’ve been trying to get too much stuff done before work), to ask for help to ease the scramble in your life (from a partner or a third-party service like Instacart), and even let some things go.

Try this out with the three things you picked today. If you like the approach, you can always build from there.

Incorporating the invisible

While plotting out the invisible to-dos and getting realistic about where your time is going can be frustrating on the frontend (of course we want to be able to get more done), this practice will help you realistically plan your days so you can feel accomplished by what you did–not defeated by what you didn’t. And that, my friend, is some game-changing magic.

Kelly Nolan is an attorney-turned-time management strategist and mom. Using realistic time management strategies, she helps modern working women manage everything on their plate with less stress and more calm clarity. To get Kelly’s free guide on how to ditch your overwhelm, click here.