Educate yourself so you can educate your family.
Much of my experience as a Black woman has been learning to survive in primarily white environments. While thriving is the goal, I’ve often settled for the bare minimum of surviving.
Though there are moments where I exist in a majority-Black environment–when visiting my hometown in Tennessee, when attending my home church, or around my grade school friends–I primarily navigate professionally ‘diverse’ environments. And by that, I mean majority white, majority male groups, with a few people of color added to the mix.
Although I don’t have a hard time transitioning between the two worlds, it can be exhausting to have to live a life full of code-switching, constantly modifying my natural instincts, behavior and responses to adapt to the white perception of sociocultural norms. As a competent and capable professional leader, it’s infuriating to deal with micro-aggressive behavior on a daily basis–on my way to work, while at work or when I’m taking my biracial daughter to the park. The reality is that these transgressions are rooted in white privilege, which is connected to a lack of understanding or empathy for the Black American experience.
So, for white parents raising white kids in an increasingly diverse America, I would encourage you to take the time all year long, but especially during Black History Month, to educate (yourself and) your children on the contributions Black Americans have given to the success of America.
First, let’s talk about slavery.
Slavery
This is the ugliest part of the inception of our America. The history books gloss over the facts, so first–educate yourself as a white parent and then tell your kids the facts. They are rational human beings. If they can grasp the concept of Common Core math, they are ready to tackle the reality of slavery and its impact and contribution to what is America today–its wealth, its landmarks and its impact on the institutional racism Black Americans face today.
Some great concepts to explore when talking to your child about slavery:
1. Expand the idea of “stranger danger.” Revisit the toddler concept to help explain the emotional and physical effects of the Middle Passage on those soon-to-be slaves. (Middle Passage is the term used to describe the path Africans took as they were stolen from West Africa and brought through the Caribbean to America).
2. Talk about the concept of indentured servitude vs. free labor. Which is unjust? Which is [more] fair? How would they feel if they were objectified and forced to perform very hard labor, daily, without payment? Begin to discuss the sub-human living situations and the debate around the Civil War (that continues to be discussed in Southern classrooms), which centers around the question: Was it a war about states’ rights or a war to keep an economy that was rooted in slavery? At this point, move into an informative discussion that ushers empathy, connection and solutions. How could this have been prevented or handled differently? This is important as the goal is not only to provide supplemental facts to what is outlined in the history books, but also to begin to build a foundation of humanity for others who might not look like your kids. Great books to use as a reference: If You Lived When There Was Slavery in America or Now Let Me Fly: The Story of a Slave Family.
Second, let’s go beyond slavery and talk about its impact on American culture today.
Racism
Racism is the legacy of slavery. It’s important for white parents to help guide their kids towards a functioning definition of racism. This is not about “I do not see color.” The insurrection that we observed in January of this year demonstrated that modern-day Americans definitely see color. Therefore, it is naive to ill-prepare your children how they should interact with those who do not look like them by refusing to talk about racism. A great resource to open the discussion–for kids of all ages–is A Kids Book about RACISM. This book, written by Jelani Memory, provides a clear description of what racism is, how it makes people feel when they experience it, and how to spot it when it happens. This is one conversation that’s never too early to start, and this book was written to be an introduction for kids on the topic.
Lastly, let’s talk about the humanity that should be our north star, guiding us towards empathy, inclusion and equity as we live together as an American community.
Fostering Community
Hopefully, throughout this process, you will open the door to the dialogue around inclusivity and diversity; but you also want to foster a spirit of empathy and equity. Kids crave examples of how to display positive behavior–they love peaceful existence with all. So, give them resources so that articulate (for themselves or to their friends) how to lead with humanity. Many resources exist, but my favorites are A Kids Book about EMPATHY and Racism and Intolerance: Children in our World series.
To raise young adults who embrace diversity, equity and equality, white parents will need to lean into the discussion. Educate yourselves so that you can educate your children–and together we can change America.
Joy Altimare is the CMO at the industry-leader in health and prevention for over 100 years, EHE Health. With over 20 years of experience in the marketing field, Joy has become an expert adviser to organizations looking to tackle growth, innovation, and technology challenges. Prior to joining the healthcare world, Joy worked on brands such as L’Oreal, Verizon, and Colgate-Palmolive, and at such agencies as Ogilvy+Mather, GREY and Publicis. Joy is a mother to her daughter Ella and lives in New York City.
Family
Educate yourself so you can educate your family.
A Black mom opens up about the most important lessons families need to teach their children about racism.
