One father tells a harrowingly common story of feeling unsafe in his own neighborhood.
As protests erupt around the US after the killing of George Floyd in Minneapolis, Minnesota, at the hands of police, some black parents are sharing stories of how their race affects them on a daily basis.
Shola Richards, an author, speaker and workplace civility expert, took to Facebook with a harrowing account of feeling unsafe in his own Los Angeles neighborhood. Shola, a black father of two girls, explained why he takes daily walks with his dog and his daughters to keep himself safe.
“I would be scared to death to take these walks without my girls and my dog. In fact, in the four years living in my house, I have never taken a walk around my neighborhood alone (and probably never will),” Shola wrote.
The father went on to explain that when he walks with his daughters and his dog, “I’m just a loving dad and pet owner taking a break from the joylessness of crisis homeschooling.”
“But without them by my side, almost instantly, I morph into a threat in the eyes of some white folks. Instead of being a loving dad to two little girls, unfortunately, all that some people can see is a 6’2″ athletically-built black man in a cloth mask who is walking around in a place where he doesn’t belong (even though, I’m still the same guy who just wants to take a walk through his neighborhood). It’s equal parts exhausting and depressing to feel like I can’t walk around outside alone, for fear of being targeted,” he wrote.
Shola explained how prejudice and racism–from police brutality to people dismissing the existence of white privilege–have kept him from feeling safe in his own neighborhood. His experience goes to show how many privileges are taken for granted by those of us who can freely walk, jog, or play music near our own homes without the fear of police shooting us.
As the list of unarmed black men shot and killed by police in the US grows longer (as well as the list of officers not charged with first-degree murder for these killings), Shola’s post helps give non-black people an idea of the privileges we didn’t even know we were afforded. In his post, he goes on to give six insights on the state of the nation and what he wants everyone to understand about racism.
1) Having white privilege doesn’t mean that your life isn’t difficult, it simply means that your skin color isn’t one of the things contributing to your life difficulties. Case in point, if it never crossed your mind that you could have the cops called on you (or worse, killed) for simply bird watching then know that is a privilege that many black/brown people (myself included) don’t currently enjoy.
2) Responding to “Black Lives Matter” by saying “All Lives Matter” is insensitive, tone-deaf and dumb. All lives can’t matter until black lives matter.
3) Racism is very real, and please don’t delude yourself into thinking it’s limited to the fringes of the hardcore MAGA crowd. As Amy Cooper proved, it’s just as prevalent in liberal America as it is anywhere else.
4) While racism is real, reverse-racism is not. Please don’t use that term, ever.
5) In order for racism to get better, white allies are absolutely critical. If you’re white and you’ve read this far, hopefully you care enough to be one of those allies. Please continue to speak up (despite some of your friends and family rolling their eyes at you), because your voices matter to PoC now more than ever.
6) And if you’re white, and you’re still choosing to stay silent about this, then I honestly don’t know what to say. If these atrocities won’t get you to speak up, then honestly, what will? Also, it’s worth asking, why be my friend? If you aren’t willing to take a stand against actions that could get me hurt or killed, it’s hard to believe that you ever cared about me in the first place.
Shola’s bravery in sharing his pain publicly is commendable, but it shouldn’t take stories like Shola’s and George Floyd’s and Ahmaud Arbery’s to make white people listen. Often, the emotional burden of helping white people understand racism and its implications falls on black and brown shoulders. For non-black folks, it’s our responsibility to educate ourselves and our children, donate where we can, and actively fight against the racism we see and even partake in every day. For parents and kids like Shola, it’s the least we can do.
“As for me, I’ll continue to walk these streets holding my 8-year-old daughter’s hand, in hopes that she’ll continue to keep her daddy safe from harm,” Shola wrote. “I know that sounds backward, but that’s the world that we’re living in these days.”
Lifestyle
One father tells a harrowingly common story of feeling unsafe in his own neighborhood.
A black father shared a heart-wrenching story that sheds light on the privileges non-black Americans are afforded.
